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Despite loss of sleep, retraining the goats to be milked and small quantities of milk compared to just three weeks ago this momma is doing okay. I'm very nervous of the curvy road ahead due to the fact of postpartum depression I experienced for close to a year and a half after our son. This time will be different. I now realize how insane I was closing myself up in the house and getting barely any sun with the curtains closed and staying busy with 'making a home'. Thinking back I would wake up dreading the day and would always have a list of things to work on while the baby slept. I kept myself from relaxing and taking care of myself first. I felt alone, sad and a horrible mother. I can honestly say the goats may have just saved my life. They gave me a reason to go outside, to sit in the sun and just relax - to think about positive things. Mind you, trucks and tractors always ran circles around us in clouds of dust but I finally had a 'me space'.

Yesterday, my glorious husband and mother allowed me to get things done and even run to town for supplies. I caught myself weeding the strawberries and dead heading flowers on the porch and best of all - smiling. It wasn't a fake smile and it wasn't for anyone but me. I smiled about the strawberries forming on the plant, the new flowers budding in old pots on the porch and how beautiful life is. Sunshine is a marvelous thing. I've heard that praying is a marvelous thing - I am not the religious type. Life is stressful and I prayed this morning. I can't tell you who or what I prayed to but I feel as if we need a little support right now. Life is hard, blogtribe.

Triscuit was a blessing, our daughter is a miracle yet we can get so caught up on things we cannot change and it worries me. We are so fortunate compared to MANY other people. Even being able to write this blog and express myself is an extraordinary thing. We will make the next batch of cheese early next week and will have your stores stocked by the end of the week. Remember, take care of yourself first so you can take care of the world second!

Swollen feet is a common 'ailment' of pregnancy. I experienced it AFTER birth and after I overexerted myself between UVA visits with mowing grass and cleaning the building.


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